I have recently started going to see a psychiatrist, on the advice of my doctor. I went to get my prescription refilled, and the conversation went something like:
Doctor: When was the last time you visited a psychiatrist?
Me: .. . never?
Doctor: WTFBBQ WRITING YOU A REFERRAL RITE NAOW!
So I went to the psychiatrist. First visit:
Psychiatrist: Tell me everything horrible that has ever happened to you.
Me: Ok, here's some stuff that happened to me. But I dealt with it. I feel ok now. . .
Psychiatrist: I don't care about NOW, tell me about your HORRIBLE PAST
Me: Ok. . .*goes on at some length in increasingly gory and disturbing detail"
Psychiatrist: ". . .I think we need you back for a second assessment. . ."
Psychiatrist: You're the girl with cancer, right?
Me: Not. . . to my knowledge?
Psychiatrist: Oh! Silly me! I have you confused with someone else. What pills are you on?
Me: (patiently, we went over this last time) Divalproex and Fluoxotine.
Psychiatrist: HOW MUCH?
Me: I don't remember
Psychiatrist: WHY DIDNT YOU BRING THE BOTTLES
Me: . . . you didn't ask me to?
Psychiatrist: I NEED THE BOTTLES NEXT TIME.
Me: ok. . .
Psychiatrist: Divalproex is bad. You've probably got ovarian cysts and that means you can't have babies. Also, your liver is dying. But I'm more worried about the fluxotine, because that shit's gonna drive you craaayyyzeeee. You need bloodwork!
Me: ok, I'll go get that done
Psychiatrist: BRING THE BOTTLES NEXT TIME
So, I have since gotten my bloodwork done. On the fifth, I get to find out if I'm barren/have a dying liver/ am going craaayyyzzeeee. I'm a little scared, but surprisingly calm.
My shrink wants to switch me over to lithium, which has the potential to turn me into a zombie. Given the choice, I'd rather be happy, clear headed, and die young of a bum liver (at least I'll be barren and not be leaving any kids behind), than be a miserably depressed bipolar zombie. Quality of life over quantity of life. What do you think? I think I should've not gone to the psychiatrist. She seems very reactive.