Your brain is not a penis, quit jerking it off.

Rant time! I know how fun it can be to get lost in one's own mental catacombs. Digging up treasures, expending large amounts of mental energy to formulate some sort of a mental structure whereby you believe the universe and all in it operates. 

But, no matter how fun it is, how productive it may feel, it is important to remember that thought does not make reality. No matter how hard you think, and how sure you are that you've got the whole universe figured out and lying prone at your feet, back in reality where people have to work to put bread in their mouths, all you've really accomplished is a whole lot of mental masturbation. Thought, while it is an important component in grounding ourselves in our human realities, when taken too far, can have the opposite effect, transforming what might be useful members of society into abstract philosophers who have their heads so far up their asses they are mistaking their stomachs for an ultimate Truth. 

In the end, your brain is not a penis. There are more flattering ways to use it than mentally jerking off and having your own psychic cum dribbling down your face. 

/ end rant. 

Angel's Lament

The really creepy thing? This is a fractal manipulated out of Hebrew script. Pure accident it came out looking like this. 

Manchester tart

Two cooking experiments today, the Manchester tart, and the Cornish potato cake. The tart turned out pretty good, considering how complex it was. The potato cake, I botched. Go figure. Anyway, here's the recipe for the tart:

Ingredients

225g plain flour 

100g margarine 

25g sugar 

30ml cold water (approx.)  

Jar of jam 

1-3 bananas (depending on your preference) 

Custard 

Dessicated coconut (or grated chocolate - optional)

Handy Hint

Grated chocolate can be used instead of coconut but don't put it on while the custard is warm!

Method

For the pastry: 

1. Preheat oven to 190C (gas mark 5.) 

2. Mix flour and sugar, rub in fat. 

3. Mix with cold water using a knife to cut and stir to form a dough. 

4. Knead dough lightly on a floured surface. 

5. Roll out and put in a flan tin. 

6. Place a circle of greaseproof paper over the bottom of the tart and sprinkle a layer of rice or dried beans on top to prevent it rising (don't put it directly on the pastry!). 

7. Bake for 20 mins, remove the rice/beans and paper, return for 5 more minutes until crisp and golden. 

8. Allow to cool. 

For the Custard:

Ingredients:

4 egg yolks

1/2 cup sugar

1 Tbsp unbleached white flour

2 cup milk

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

grated rind of 1/2 lemon

Preparation:

This egg custard recipe makes approximately 2 cups of custard.

Separate the egg yolks. Place yolks and sugar in medium saucepan and lightly whisk together. Using a wooden spoon, continue stirring and add the flour. Set aside.In a medium sauce pan, pour the milk, vanilla extract and grated lemon rind. Bring to a boil and remove from heat. Strain the hot milk mixture gradually into the pan with the egg and sugar mixture, stirring while you pour. Place the pan on stove and heat to a simmer, careful not to boil. Stir constantly for about 5 minutes.

Remove and allow to cool for a few minutes. As the custard cools, stir occasionally to prevent a skin from forming on top. Once cooled, chill in refrigerator until ready to use.

For the filling: 

9. Make up custard according to instructions but missing out some liquid to make it thick, leave to cool slightly. 

10. Dollop jam into the pastry case and spread around evenly. 

11. Slice bananas and arrange on top of jam. 

12. Pour partially cooled custard on top of the jam and bananas. 

13. Sprinkle dessicated coconut on top of custard if liked. 

14. Leave to set in fridge.

Duct Tape Rose

Home sick from work today. Decided to nap, read, and be a little crafty until this killer headache leaves me alone. Here's what I made:

That's right, ladies and gents, a fabulous duct tape rose. 

. . .to put in your hair!

Materials: 

Roll of duct tape

Two bobby pins. 

Instructions: 

I modified the instructions from http://www.instructables.com/id/Duct-Tape-Rose/. For basic instructions, go there. Below are my modifications:

1) I used a bobby pin instead of wire. I began wrapping the petals over the open end of the pin, leaving the closed end as a loop. 

2) I made my petals more sloppy, not always with an even point, often using jagged squares, which I felt lent greater authenticity to the "petal" shapes. You know, because roses are obviously silver.

3) I folded down some of the outer petals at the end

4) Finally, once the rose looked rose-ish enough, I used a thin strip of tape to wrap around the bottom edge of the petals, keeping them bent open, and around part of the hair pin.

5) THEN, I hooked the second hair pin through the loop of the first, which holds the rose in place in ur hairs. 

\o/ and now we all know why I don't make things very often. Happy Friday! 

Tahltan

File this under "new things I learned about today that I'm writing down in order to remember". Did some reading on the Tahltan aboriginals, a small tribe with their own dialect of Athabascan hailing from the Stikine River watershed in British Columbia.

Tahltan Yesterday

Tahltan Today

Reasons to like the Tahltan:

* Having your own language that hasn't completely died out when you're a tribe of only 2000 strong is no mean feat.

* They are made up of the Crow clan, and the Wolf clan (how cool is that)

* They are a matriarchal society (as many western tribes tend to be). Viva la matriarchy! 

* They were making tools from obsidian 10, 000 years ago. 

*They have been singlehandedly preventing the apocalypse since 2005 by guarding the roads leading to the headwaters of the Nass, Skeena, and Stikine rivers, which they view as the "sacred headwaters" from which all life originates. In all seriousness, the area is scouted as the spot for a coalbed methane mining project, which would greatly damage the environment in the area, so whether it means the apocalypse or no, it is good that *someone* is protecting this from happening. 

*They're musical! As you can see in the photo above, taken from here. Apparently, the area is known as "little Nashville" because everyone makes music in some way.

So, Tahltan. What's not to love? 

How well do you know Canada?

Because I was curious, I gathered aerial photographs of every province. Obviously, not all photos are representative of the whole province, but here is what I found. See if you can guess which ones are which. Highlight caption for answers!

New Brunswick

Alberta

British Columbia

Manitoba

North West Territories

Ontario

PEI

Saskatchewan

Yukon

Nova Scotia

Newfoundland Labrador

Nunavut

Quebec 

Anything Maslow can do I can do better . . .

. . . well no, not really. But its lunchtime, and I'm in a childishly optimistic sort of mood, so here is my own hierarchy of needs, or rather, the building blocks I think I need to become more like my "ideal self"

Like a video game, you need to achieve one level to get to the next. Incomplete levels (missing blocks) = unsteady structure. Right now, I'm still stuck on building up the foundational level. Lawd help me.